The End is Nearing...or should I say The Beginning

Well, here we are after 17 LONG months and our wait may soon be over. Referrals should be arriving this week at the agencies, or so we hope. The question is, "Will we make it in this round?" I have no idea, but oh how I hope. They ended last month at Oct. 24 and we are Nov. 4th, so I'm not sure whether they will make it to us or not. If they do, "OH MY GOODNESS!!!!" and if they don't, We're Next!!!!!!!! Either way, our long wait is almost over. I'm not one to wish time away, but I cannot wait until this weekend is over. Oh how I pray that we get a call on Monday saying, "Troy and Sammi, you're daughter's picture has arrived." I'm not sure what I'll do. Can this really be about to happen? Are we about to put a face with a name that we've dreamed of for so long? Someone pinch me, please! Until Monday...

The End of March is coming...

Throughout our long wait, we have learned all too well that you can never predict what CCAA will do, as far as referrals are concerned. As the end of the month approaches, I can't help but wonder if our 11/04 date will show up on the CCAA website. Will we make it in this time? Could this really be happening? There are so many unknowns. So, without further anticipation, here are my predictions for this next batch of referrals:

End of March Referrals (Arriving 1st week of April) 10/24/05-10/31/05

End of April Referrals (Arriving 1st week of May) 11/01/05-11/10/05 (We are 11/04/05)

My hearts prays so hard for a March referral, but I've been let down so many times before that I'm afraid to believe. If we do indeed get our referral in this next batch, then we would probably travel the end of May. If we don't get our referral until April, then it will be the end of June before we go. I cannot wait until the anticipation is over. I cannot wait to see Karsynn's face. I cannot wait to hold Karsynn in my arms.

We're Getting Excited!

As our referral day draws near, we are so excited that I can't even begin to explain. Depending on how CCAA does things, the end of this month could actually be "our day." We could actually be seeing our daughter's face for the first time. I cannot explain how this makes us feel inside. It's amazing. When you've wanted something so bad for so long and you know that it's drawing near, the anticipation kills you. I find myself daydreaming about what Karsynn will look like, how big she'll be, and whether she'll love us as much as we already love her. Today, I began to think a bit about how much of Karsynn's early life Troy and I will have missed. That made me really sad. We won't have the luxury of bonding with our daughter from birth, but my prayer is that God will allow Karsynn to attach quickly and smoothly. Surely, once she is placed in our lives she'll be able to feel that love that Troy and I have had for her for so long. I'm certain of it. There have been so many news stories lately about parents abandoning, hurting or even killing their own children, and my heart and mind cannot even fathom this. I can't understand the desperation that must go through one's mind to do something like that. I guess that's why I don't understand, and probably never will, why good people like Troy and I have had such a difficult time. I suppose only God knows. What I do understand is that His plan is the ultimate. My prayer is that He will help Troy and I be all that we can for Karsynn, and any other little ones that He has planned for us. Please continue to pray that our referral will come at the end of this month.

Referrals have Arrived for February!

CCAA has issued referrals for the end of February. They contacted parents logged in from Oct. 14-24th, so they didn't do as many referral days as we had hoped. However, this was their first batch since being off for a two week Chinese New Year celebration. We are still hoping beyond hope that we see Karsynn's face in a picture at the end of March. We are logged in Nov. 4th, so we're SO CLOSE!!! Please pray that CCAA makes it to us. We are so out of control with excitement about becoming parents that we cannot stand it. I cannot believe that we will finally meet our daughter this year. The wait has been long and painful, but it has been a trip of a lifetime. Our dream of being parents is finally coming true. We'll keep you posted!

Love and prayers,
Sammi and Troy